"She made you feel feelings? That bitch! You should stake her anyway." "Your heart and your pants have totally conspired to cut your brain out of the equation, am I right?"
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"I should have left a clue. Like, I don't know, locking him in a cellar and tying him to a fucking radiator!"
Alex: 'All you've done for the past two days is wail on your pecs and shuffle around singing show tunes.' Hal: 'They're not show tunes!' Hal: 'Gilbert and Sullivan wrote operettas, not musicals.' Alex: 'I feel so embarrassed for you right now.'